Teen Titans: Behind the Scenes
by ElvenQueen18
Summary: Parody. What really goes on when the Titans and their friends aren't busy saving the world? Rated T for safety. COMPLETE!
1. Raven Hates Being a Girl

**Author's Note:** And here's another Teen Titans parody by _moi_! Keyword here being "parody": don't be too offended if I make fun of or even insult some (more like all) of the characters, since I do like just about every character on the show (a list of characters I _don't_ like would be a lot shorter). And like the summary says, suggestions and/or requests are always welcome!

* * *

**Raven Hates Being a Girl**

"Wonder what Robin's problem is this time?" Beast Boy whispered to Cyborg.

Cyborg shrugged. "It must be big if he made every single Titan come here."

It was true. All thirty Titans were sitting in a big conference room that had been recently added to Titans' Tower. Exactly why the Titans would need a conference room when the common room would do just fine was anyone's guess.

Raven shifted slightly in her seat, looking tense.

"I hope this meeting doesn't take too long," she muttered to herself.

"Raven, is there something wrong?" Starfire asked.

"It's nothing, Starfire," Raven replied, looking down.

Oh, but it was something. Something every female from about twelve to fifty years of age dreaded each month.

Robin was seated at the head of the long table. "So," he began, "I'm sure you're all wondering why I've dragged you all here."

"You mean it's not for free soda?" Kid Flash interrupted.

Robin looked at the speedster sternly. "We had soda fifteen minutes ago. As I was saying--"

"Robin, can I--" Raven tried to say.

"No, Raven, you can't," Robin cut her off.

"You did not let her finish asking!" Starfire chided.

"_As I was saying_," Robin continued, as if Starfire hadn't spoken, "I've called you all here because my air conditioner's not working. It's hot all day and cold all night."

There was a moment of silence as everyone fought to hide the extreme annoyance they felt towards Robin.

"You dragged everyone here because of a stupid air conditioner?" Bumblebee finally demanded.

"What are you doing? Leaving it off during the day and turning it on at night?" Speedy smirked.

Robin's face reddened. "Of course not! How stupid do you think I am?"

"Robin, can I--" Raven tried again.

"No!" Robin snapped at her. "No, no, and no again! Everyone has to sit through this and that includes you!"

Raven scowled. Starfire looked at her worriedly. She was starting to catch on to Raven's problem.

_"__This is stupid,"_ Jericho signed bluntly. _"I'm supposed to be at a family reunion right now."_

Beast Boy laughed. "Now _that_ sounds interesting!"

"Can we get back to me, please?" Robin said irritably.

_Oh, who cares?_ Raven thought. _Just shut up already so I can go to the Azar-forsaken bathroom!_

"I'll take a look at the AC, Robin," Cyborg offered. "Now, about that soda..."

"YES!" several voices shouted out at once, and everyone rushed out of the room before Robin could say anything.

Ten minutes later, Starfire met up with Raven at the door to the bathroom.

"Are you all right, Raven?" she asked.

"I'm fine now," Raven answered. "A few minutes more and I wouldn't have been." She and Starfire were now walking down the hall. "Boys just don't understand."

"Indeed," Starfire agreed as the girls made it to the common room.

"I hate being a girl sometimes," Raven said.

Starfire nodded wordlessly, watching as Beast Boy, Cyborg, Kid Flash, and Aqualad fought over a Coca-Cola.

"It is tough to be female," Starfire remarked. "Especially when you are a Titan."


	2. Cyborg, Everyone's Favorite Half Robot

**Cyborg, Everyone's Favorite Half Robot**

Cyborg is a character that gets little love among fans of Teen Titans. Have you ever wanted to know what goes on with him when he's not stomping Beast Boy at videogames, arguing with Beast Boy about meat and tofu, working on the T-Car, or kicking bad guy butt? Well, it's probably not like _this_, but continue reading anyway.

It was one week after the events of chapter one, and once again, there were Titans in the new conference room. Unlike last time, there were only seven Titans there: the original five Titans, Jericho, and Kole.

_"__I need a place to stay for the night,"_ Jericho (who had dragged Kole with him to Titans' Tower and demanded a meeting with the Titans present) signed. _"I'm kind of on the run from my dad."_

"Why?" Robin asked.

Jericho ignored the question. _"Is there anyone who'd be willing to share a room with me?"_

"Uh, no," Starfire and Raven both said.

"You could stay with me," Kole said slowly, and Jericho looked at her hopefully, "but it would give people the wrong idea." Jericho's shoulders slumped.

"You can stay with me," Beast Boy offered. "There's a bunk bed in my room."

Jericho wrinkled his nose. _"No offense,"_ he signed, _"but I'd rather be stabbed to death by my father than die because of your room stinking so much."_

"Why don't you stay with Cyborg?" Raven suggested before Beast Boy could reply. "He's pretty normal."

_"__That's not a bad idea,"_ Jericho agreed, turning toward Cyborg. _"You don't mind, right?"_

Cyborg began sweating. "Well, I, uh...um..."

"Do you have a problem with Jericho?" Robin wanted to know.

"N-no, it's just I, uh..." Cyborg stammered.

"It's settled then," Robin declared. "A cot will be made out for Jericho in Cyborg's room in a minute. On another matter, I want to talk about the statue in the entryway. It has a huge crack in it! You want people to come to the Tower and think we're a bunch of slobs?"

Jericho and Kole stared at Robin weirdly, Raven groaned, Beast Boy and Cyborg smacked themselves in the head, and even Starfire couldn't resist rolling her eyes. Robin always had something to complain about.

Ten minutes later, Raven (who really didn't care when the dumb statue got fixed) assured Robin that the issue would be taken care of.

That night, Jericho followed Cyborg to his room. The half robot was being strangely quiet.

_"__So..."_ Jericho began, _"Robin can be a real pest, huh?"_

"Um, sure," Cyborg replied distractedly. Jericho frowned, puzzled.

They reached Cyborg's room. Cyborg entered the code to open the door, and the door hissed open.

Jericho stepped into the room, going over to the cot he would be sleeping in for the night.

Cyborg looked around cautiously. "I have to go...get something," he told Jericho. "I'll be back. Just don't go through my stuff."

Jericho, who had noticed a magazine lying on the cot, nodded vaguely. As Cyborg left the room, Jericho sat down on the cot and picked up the magazine.

_Hmm...a magazine for heroes who have evil family members,_ Jericho thought as he looked at the cover. _Why don't I have a subscription for this?_

Two hours later, Jericho had read the magazine from beginning to end, and Cyborg was still gone.

_Where's Cyborg?_ Jericho thought. _He ought to be back by now._

So Jericho did what anyone would have done. He went through Cyborg's stuff.

He silently gasped when he opened a drawer and found a bunch of bottles of pills.

_What the heck?_ Jericho thought. _What's Cyborg doing with all of these?_

Jericho's eyes went wide as he came to a conclusion. _Cyborg's dealing drugs! I have to find out where he went._

About thirty minutes later, Jericho was roaming the streets of the city, a note saying, "Have you seen a half robot anywhere? Which way did he go?" (assuming there were people who didn't understand sign language) and his Titans' communicator in his pocket.

_Man, cities are much creepier at night,_ Jericho thought.

"Hey, cutie," a female voice purred.

Jericho whirled around and came face to face with a woman with long black hair and icy blue eyes.

_"__You understand sign language?"_ Jericho signed.

The woman chuckled. "I don't know what you just said, but I always _loved_ the quiet ones," she said slyly.

_Is she trying to hit on me?_ Jericho hastily showed her his note.

The woman wordlessly pointed straight ahead, and Jericho took off in that direction.

"If you're ever in town again, call me!" Jericho shuddered.

After passing several bars, various prostitutes, and dozens of drug dealers, Jericho finally found Cyborg sitting at a booth.

_"__Cyborg! Just what the _hell_ are you doing?!"_ a very irritated Jericho demanded.

Cyborg looked surprised. "I could ask you the same thing."

Jericho fumed. _"Well, I got hit on by a woman that's old enough to be my mother, have been offered a hundred different kinds of drugs, and have gotten the numbers of over twenty different prostitutes! But I started out looking for you!"_

"Aren't you underage?" Cyborg asked.

_"__You're coming back to the Tower, drug dealer!"_ Jericho signed. True to his word (or sign), he dragged Cyborg to the Tower.

"You better have a good reason for waking me up," Robin grumbled after Jericho banged on his bedroom door ten minutes later.

_"__Robin, Cyborg's dealing drugs,"_ Jericho tattled.

"What?" Robin said in surprise, staring at Cyborg.

The half robot grinned sheepishly. "Yeah, it's true," Cyborg confessed. "But I need the money. I don't get paid enough for fighting bad guys."

Jericho looked confused. _"Since when do heroes get paid?"_

Robin didn't answer him. "I'll give you a raise. Just stop dealing drugs, Cyborg."

"Will do," Cyborg said. "Goodnight."

As Cyborg went back to his room, Jericho stared at Robin, flabbergasted. _"Why doesn't he get in trouble?!"_

Robin shrugged. "He needs money."

_"__But if I told you half the things I did tonight, you'd fire me!"_ Jericho complained.

_Wait, since when do heroes get fired?_ he suddenly thought.

"And what have you been doing tonight?" Robin asked, an eyebrow raised.

_"__Nothing! See you tomorrow,"_ Jericho signed quickly.

The next morning...

"Hey Jericho! Some lady on the phone wants ya!" Beast Boy said to the mute Titan at breakfast.

_Oh, shit,_ Jericho thought. _"Tell her I got pneumonia and died."_

Beast Boy smirked evilly; Cyborg had told him about last night. "He says he'll call later. And that he can't wait to see you again."

Beast Boy hung up the phone, still smirking. "You're so lucky Kole didn't hear that," he said.

_"__You'll be lucky if I don't strangle you with my bare hands!"_ And with that, Jericho started chasing Beast Boy around the room.

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**Author's Note:** *reads what was written* I was in a weird mood when I wrote this, wasn't I?


	3. Dance Dance Revolution

**Author's Note:** Sorry for taking a while to update; I've been having writer's block. Any suggestions are still welcome!

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**Dance Dance Revolution**

"Dude! We don't care!" Beast Boy practically yelled in frustration.

"But the door's been squeaking for the past three days," Robin said.

Once again, Robin had found something to gripe about and was making said gripe known to his teammates, who were all in the common room. Beast Boy seemed particularly annoyed, though that may have had something to do with Cyborg beating him at videogames _again_.

"Our doors don't have doorknobs or handles, they can only be opened with passwords, and they hiss when they're being opened," Beast Boy was saying. "How the heck can any of the doors squeak?"

Before Robin could reply, Cyborg decided to step in before things got nasty.

"Look, Robin, I'll look into the squeaky door, alright?" the half robot said. "Right now, we have more important things to talk about. Like getting the mail."

"Oh, I will get it!" Starfire volunteered. She then flew out of the room. Two minutes later, she was back and carrying a large box.

Raven used her telekinesis to open the box. Inside it was a board with two pink arrows and two blue arrows on it.

For a minute, the Titans just stared at the board.

"...Okay," Raven finally said. "What are we supposed to do with it?"

Starfire pick up a sheet of paper that had come with the board. "I believe we are to do the plugging it into the television."

So the Titans plugged the board into their big-screen TV.

"Hello," a voice with a foreign accent spoke. "Zis is Dance Dance Revolution."

"What do we do?" Robin asked.

"Dance," replied the TV. "Follow ze arrows."

"But they're all in different directions," Cyborg pointed out, looking at the board.

"Look at ze screen and arrows vill appear, and vhen ze arrows appear, you step on ze appropriate arrow," the TV explained. "Got zat?"

"Why must we step on the arrows?" Starfire questioned.

"To dance," the TV answered, getting a little annoyed.

"What happens if we dance well?" Raven wanted to know.

"Zen you get a good score," the TV snapped.

"Wait, we don't get a cookie?" Beast Boy asked.

"Vhy vould you get zat?" The TV sounded a little weirded out.

"What happens if we dance badly?" Cyborg wondered.

"Zen your Tower vill self-destruct!" the TV yelled.

Starfire gasped. "Perhaps we should not play this game!"

"Let's get rid of it!" Robin said. "Titans, go!"

They all rushed to the board, but before they could get rid of it, Beast Boy accidentally stepped on an arrow. Music started playing and arrows were appearing on the TV screen.

"Dang it, Beast Boy!" Cyborg yelled. "You better dance well or we're all gonna blow up!"

Beast Boy didn't need to be told twice. He jumped onto the board and did his best to step on the appropriate arrows. Slowly but surely, the music and arrows were speeding up, and Beast Boy was forced to dance faster and faster.

"Dudes, I can't dance much longer..." he said.

"I'll take over," Robin offered. "On three! One, two, three!" And with that, Beast Boy leapt off the board and Robin jumped on.

For the next five minutes, Robin was doing very well in keeping up with the arrows.

"I'll take over when you get tired," Cyborg told him.

"Thanks, but I won't get tired of dancing," Robin replied.

Two hours later...

"Getting tired..." Robin panted. "Gonna pass out...gonna die...gonna blow up..."

"Robin, Cyborg said he'd take over," Raven reminded him.

"Yes, please!" Robin begged.

"Will do." Cyborg and Robin switched places.

Needless to say, Cyborg got his groove on!

"Cyborg, we never knew you were a most gifted dancer," Starfire commented.

"Neither did I," Cyborg admitted.

Three hours later...

"Can't dance...anymore..." Cyborg wheezed.

"Guys, maybe we should just accept that we're gonna die," Raven suggested.

There were murmurs of agreement at Raven's words. Cyborg jumped off the board, and the Titans waited for the Tower to self-destruct and for them to die in a fiery explosion.

Fifteen minutes passed. Then...

"Psych!" The voice from before laughed hysterically.

The Titans all gaped in shock.

"We--we are alive?" Starfire stammered.

"Aw, man! If we were dead, we wouldn't have to listen to Robin anymore!" Beast Boy complained, ignoring the scowl the Boy Wonder was giving him.

Beast Boy glared at the still laughing TV. "There's only room for one prankster here, dude! And that's me!"

He turned into a gorilla and smashed the screen with his massive fist. The screen cracked and the laughter stopped.

Beast Boy went back into his human form and turned to see the others glaring at him.

"We're going to need a new TV," was Raven's only comment.


	4. Beast Boy and Raven's Confessions

**Author's Note:** I'm kinda running out of steam for this fic, but it could be simply because I've lately been focusing a lot on my other fic in another fandom. In any case, I hope you enjoy this chapter, and I'd say to expect some OOCness, but y'all probably already know that.

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**Beast Boy and Raven's Confessions**

"So, you see, Starfire, I think you should dress more modestly whenever we're out of the Tower," Robin was telling Starfire as they and the others were in the conference room. "Otherwise, you could be...well..."

"Raped?" Raven suggested.

"Exactly," Robin said, still talking to Starfire. "I mean, I've seen how those guys look at you. It makes me nervous."

"More like it makes him jealous," Cyborg whispered to Beast Boy, smirking.

Starfire was silent for a moment before speaking. "While I do appreciate your concern for me, Robin, I believe I am most capable of taking care of myself."

"I never said--" Robin began.

"And even if a guy did try to pull anything," Raven cut in, "Starfire could just throw him into a wall or something. It wouldn't be hard, she's really strong."

"You guys don't care about Starfire's wellbeing!" Robin yelled.

"Sure we do," Cyborg said. "We just know Starfire's a whole lot stronger than any creep who'd put his hands on her."

"Besides," Beast Boy added, "Cyborg goes around without _any_ clothes, and you're not worried about anyone raping _him_!"

Robin scowled.

"And now to a more important issue," Raven said. "My vacation. I want it now. _Now_! NOW, I SAY!"

"Yes, when is Raven's vacation?" Starfire asked quickly.

Cyborg checked the calendar system in his arm. "It starts today."

"But _dude_! _My_ vacation starts today!" Beast Boy whined.

"We can't have two Titans gone at the same time," Robin protested.

"Sure we can. Y'all were fine those two times I left the team," Cyborg pointed out.

"Yeah, you guys can take care of things here. And I'm out of here." And with that, Raven flew out of the conference room.

"Me too," Beast Boy said, and he turned into a eagle and followed Raven out.

A few minutes later, Beast Boy and Raven met up in the hallway.

"So, Beast Boy, where are you going?" Raven asked.

"Six Flags!" Beast Boy answered.

Raven blinked. "Really? Me, too."

Beast Boy raised an eyebrow. "Never took you for the roller coaster type."

"Whatever," Raven said. "Let's just go."

Beast Boy hadn't really gotten the chance to talk with Raven in the past few weeks. This vacation would surely be just the thing to catch up with her. That is, if she let him. The two grabbed their suitcases and were soon flying towards Six Flags.

A few hours later, Beast Boy and Raven were there.

"All right! We made it!" Beast Boy cheered as he landed on the ground and went back to his human form.

He hurried to the park's gate. "Come on, Raven!"

"I'm coming," Raven murmured as she followed Beast Boy.

The two bought their tickets and went inside the park.

"Dude! Let's go on the roller coaster!" Beast Boy exclaimed, grabbing Raven by the hand.

"Might as well get it over with now, especially since we haven't eaten anything yet," Raven said.

Beast Boy chuckled. "I remember I rode on it right after I ate three veggie burgers, and I threw up on the guy next to me. Found out later that it was Robin."

"You were sitting on a roller coaster next to Robin and didn't know it was him?" Raven asked. "Wasn't he complaining about something?"

Beast Boy shrugged. "He probably was, I just don't know what about."

"Oh, you make a such a cute couple!" an old lady called out.

Beast Boy and Raven turned towards her, and they just realized they were still holding hands. They hastily let go, blushing slightly.

"But we're not a couple!" Raven told the woman. "We're just friends!"

"What she said!" Beast Boy added.

"That's what they all say," the lady replied, and she wandered off.

There was a moment of awkward silence.

Beast Boy was the first to recover. "Um...so, are we going on the roller coaster or what?"

"Uh, yeah. Sure," Raven answered.

They waited in line for about half an hour before they could get on the roller coaster.

"This is gonna be awesome!" Beast Boy exclaimed, his hands in the air.

The roller coaster went to the top of the hill, dropped, and went halfway through a loop before it got stuck upside down.

"Uh, we stopped?" Beast Boy asked.

"Thank you, Captain Obvious," Raven retorted.

Other passengers were screaming things like, "The blood's rushing to my head!" or, "Why did we stop?!" or, "We're all gonna die!" Finally, Raven used her telepathy to get everyone to shut up.

"Looks like we're going to be here a while," Raven muttered.

"I'm sure it won't be too long," Beast Boy assured her.

Two hours later, they were still upside down.

"'It won't be too long,' he says," Raven grumbled. "We'll die at this rate."

"Don't say that, Raven!" Beast Boy thought of a moment. "Let's play I Spy."

"Fine," Raven decided; they didn't have anything better to do. "I spy something blue."

"Your cloak?" Beast Boy guessed.

"Right," Raven said. "Your turn."

Beast Boy paused. "I spy something...gray."

"The Tower," Raven said at once.

"Uh, right." Beast Boy was silent for a few seconds. "You know, this game is pretty unfair when one player can read the other player's mind."

"Yeah," Raven agreed. "Think we should call the Titans?"

"I'm on it." Beast Boy took out his communicator to make their distress call.

Three hours later...

"Blood's rushing to my head...I can't hear myself think...We're gonna die..." Raven voice trailed off.

"Raven!" Beast Boy shouted. "Don't fall asleep! Keep talking!"

"Okay, okay," Raven answered. "No need to be so dramatic."

There was a moment of silence.

"Ya know," Beast Boy spoke, "I'd never thought I'd die on a roller coaster."

"Me either," Raven said.

"You think the Titans got our message?" Beast Boy wanted to know.

Raven frowned. "I'm not sensing them..."

"We're screwed," Beast Boy declared bluntly. "In that case, there's something I've been wanting to tell you for a long time now."

"I want to say something, too," Raven told him.

Beast Boy looked confused. "You want to say something to yourself?"

Raven rolled her eyes. "No, I want to tell you something. But you go first."

"I...always...kind of..."

"Beast Boy! Raven!" a voice suddenly screamed, cutting Beast Boy off. It was Starfire.

"Can you hear me?" Starfire shouted again. She flew over to them.

"We hear you all right," Raven muttered, wincing.

Starfire managed to undo the restraints, and soon Beast Boy and Raven were back on solid ground, the blood rushing from their heads to the rest of their bodies.

"What took you so long?" Beast Boy demanded. "We thought we were gonna die!"

Starfire sighed. "Robin was attempting to have me wear the mask of skis," she explained. "But are you okay?"

"We will be," Raven assured her.

And the three Titans went back to the Tower, where Beast Boy and Raven spent the rest of their vacation recovering from hanging upside down for five hours. What were they about to tell each other? The world may never know.


	5. Karaoke Party

**Author's Note:** I'm gonna try to get this up to ten one-shots. Wish me luck!

**Disclaimer:** I don't own any of the songs mentioned in this one-shot. All of them belong to their rightful owners.

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**Karaoke Party**

It was Friday night, which means the Titans were having a karaoke party at the Tower. Robin hadn't thought it was a good idea, but the Titans outvoted him. Yes, even Raven wanted to throw a karaoke party, but she was probably just in the mood to annoy Robin.

Anyway, the common room was all set up. The karaoke machine was up and running, snacks and drinks were on the table, and the place was crowded with Titans.

"All right, y'all!" Cyborg, the host for the evening, exclaimed as he stood near the karaoke machine. "Let's get this party started!"

The audience (minus Robin) cheered.

"Who'll be singing first?" Cyborg asked.

"I will!" Bumblebee said, standing up and walking up to the front of the room. She whispered something to Cyborg, then took to the stage. Seconds later, Cyborg found the song Bumblebee wanted and pressed "play." Music started playing.

"_When I was just a little girl, my mama used to tuck me into bed, and she'd read me a story,_" Bumblebee sang, swaying to the music. "_It always was about a princess in distress, and how a guy would save her and end up with the glory. I'd lie in bed and think about the person that I wanted to be. Then one day, I realized the fairytale life wasn't for me. I don't wanna be like Cinderella, sitting in a dark, cold, dusty cellar, waiting for somebody to come and set me free. I don't wanna be like someone waiting for a handsome prince to come and save me on a horse of white, unless somebody's on my side. Don't wanna be no, no, no one else. I'd rather rescue myself._"

The room erupted into cheers when the song finished. Bumblebee grinned as she went back to her seat.

"Are you all deaf?" Robin demanded. "That was awful!"

Bumblebee scowled. "Are you just saying that because the song said a handsome prince and not a walking traffic light?"

Beast Boy, Speedy, and Aqualad snickered. Robin turned around to glare at them.

"I do _not_ look like a traffic light!" he snapped.

"Yes, you do!" Beast Boy, Aqualad, and Speedy said in unison.

"Okay, who's gonna be singing next?" Cyborg cut in.

"I guess I will," Raven said, floating to the stage.

"You sing?" Cyborg raised an eyebrow.

Raven shrugged. "Just put my song on."

And within seconds, music was playing.

"_No one knows what it's like to be the bad man, to be the sad man, behind blue eyes. And no one knows what it's like to be hated, to be fated to telling only lies._" To everyone's surprise, Raven could sing really well. "_But my dreams, they aren't as empty as my conscience seems to be. I have hours, only lonely. My love is vengeance. That's never free._"

After the song was done, Raven was earned with a round of enthusiastic applause.

"All right, Raven!" Beast Boy cheered. "That was awesome! You were awesome! Heck, if this was a competition--"

"We get it, Beast Boy!" Robin yelled. "You have a crush on Raven!"

Several people laughed at Robin's outburst. Beast Boy reddened slightly, and Raven was determinedly not looking at him.

Within the next fifteen minutes, Speedy had sang "Bad to the Bone" by George Thorogood, Kole had sang "When You Say Nothing at All" by Ronan Keating, Jericho had given an ASL interpretation of "If Everyone Cared" by Nickelback, and Starfire had sang "Breathe" by Faith Hill (which was the only performance that Robin had enjoyed all evening).

Now it was time for the final performer, Beast Boy.

"_Get your motor runnin'. Head out on the highway. Looking for adventure in whatever comes our way. Yeah, darlin', gonna make it happen. Take the world in a love embrace. Fire all of your guns at once and explode into space,_" Beast Boy sang. "_I like smoke and lightnin', heavy metal thunder, racing in the wind, and the feeling that I'm under. Yeah, darlin', gonna make it happen. Take the world in a love embrace. Fire all of your guns at once and explode into space._"

"What?!" Robin shouted as Beast Boy continued singing. "What is _wrong_ with you people? I don't want to hear Beast Boy butchering Steppenwolf!"

"Man, you just have no taste in music!" Cyborg retorted.

The karaoke party ended with Cyborg and Robin duking it out and getting landed in the medical bay.

All things considered, though, it was a rather satisfying evening for the Titans.


	6. Beast Boy's New Pet

**Author's Note:** Well...it's been over two months since my last update. Sorry about that, readers; I'd had writer's block and then real life got in the way. My grandmother died about a month ago, and I've just really haven't felt like updating this. *sighs* So saying, I think this is going to be the last installment, so there's six instead of the ten that I'd originally planned.

* * *

**Beast Boy's New Pet**

"So Titans, there's a loose floorboard in my room and it's very distracting when I try to read," Robin complained.

The rest of the Titans stared at Robin in disbelief. He had interrupted their daily activities just to complain about _that_?

"Dude, _seriously_!" Beast Boy exclaimed. "First squeaky doors, now loose floorboards? Man, if you keep this up, we're gonna hafta—"

"Meow," came a sound from somewhere in the common room, interrupting Beast Boy.

Everyone turned to look at Starfire.

"Uh, Star? Did you just meow?" Cyborg asked.

"I have not," Starfire replied.

"Meow!"

The Titans jumped up.

"What is that?" Raven asked no one in particular. She then noticed that Beast Boy was the only one who was still sitting on the couch.

"Beast Boy, do you know anything about this noise?" Raven wanted to know, an eyebrow raised.

Beast Boy sweatdropped as the others looked at him. "Um...no?"

"_Meow_!" Just then, a fluffy white kitten darted out from underneath the couch, scampered over to Robin, and sank its tiny claws into his leg.

Chaos erupted. Robin was screaming in pain, Starfire had cried out Robin's name, and she, Raven, and Cyborg got ready to blast the kitten into smithereens. But before they could do so

"Stop!" Beast Boy yelled. "Don't kill Fluffy!"

Starfire and Raven turned to stare at Beast Boy, while Cyborg managed to pry the kitten from Robin's leg (Robin was still going, "Ow, ow, ow, ow, _ow_!").

"Fluffy?" Starfire repeated.

Beast Boy laughed sheepishly. "Yeah, Fluffy. My new pet. I figured since Starfire's pretty much taken over as Silkie's owner, I might as well get a pet of my own."

"Great, another crazy beast in the Tower," Robin (who had by this time gotten a hold of Band-Aids and was putting one on) grumbled. "Instead of eating everything in sight, it attacks innocent bystanders!"

"Way to go, Beast Boy," Raven muttered under her breath. "You've given Robin something else to complain about."

"Fluffy is _not_ a crazy beast!" Beast Boy snapped at Robin. "She's a very special kitty!"

"Any chance of her turning into a mutated monster because of some bizarre food?" Cyborg asked, looking amused.

Beast Boy flushed. "Of course not! How dumb would I have to be for that to happen?"

"And what are you implying?" Starfire's eyes narrowed slightly.

"Nothing! Nothing at all..."

Fluffy walked over to Starfire and rubbed her head against the Tamaranean's foot. Starfire's gaze softened.

"So," Beast Boy began, "we can keep her, right?"

"Oh, sure," Robin said, "assuming that we won't have to worry about the kitten shedding, coughing up hairballs, meowing over food, meowing over water, or generally making a mess of things. Or scratching people."

Beast Boy paused. "I'm gonna take that as a yes."

"Beast Boy, I was being sarcastic," Robin protested.

Cyborg chuckled. "Too late, Robin—looks like the Titans have just got another pet!"

And so Beast Boy did manage to keep Fluffy, and with five teenaged superheroes taking care of her, it wasn't so bad. Well, there _was_ one incident where Cyborg ended up turning her fur green, but that's another story.

* * *

**Author's Note:** *sighs* Kinda pointless, I suppose, but a little fun to write, nonetheless.


End file.
